even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize