I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
cat food counts as protein by the way
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
