i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
