Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
