This is not my ceiling
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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