It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
