I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
