all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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