you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
