I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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