Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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