that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize