she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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