u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize