Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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