people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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