I think my fart just growled at me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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