I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize