there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
