I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
