Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
