Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
