I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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