So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
