you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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