dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
