Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
