Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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