I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
