Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
