Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
