K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
