You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize