ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
