So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
