what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
