hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
