He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
