You're my little dorito
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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