Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
