The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
