is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My vagina is very pro this idea
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
