Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
