hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
third nipple confirmed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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