she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
