Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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