The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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