Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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