I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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