Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
