is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
