dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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