Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
