you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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