I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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