he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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