I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
