after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
