her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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