i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
