She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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