if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
