uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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